8 Reasons You’re not Horny — And How to Get the Mojo Back.
Alla Byrne
Not Horny? We’ve got reasons for that. Don’t assume the passion in your marriage is dead just because you don’t feel like jumping your spouse’s bones. Sex ends up on the back burner for a variety of reasons. If you want to turn up the heat between the sheets, pinpoint the problem and follow these fixes to get your mojo back in no time.
1.You’re Stressed Out
Between work and home life, most of us are spread too thin these days. While some consider sex a stress reliever, others can’t get in the mood without handling their to-do list first.
Solution: Aim to have one night per workweek (weekends go without saying) where you unplug and focus on your spouse. An added benefit: Simple acts of intimacy are proven to reduce stress levels in couples, according to a recent Psychosomatic Medicine study.
2.Blame The Booze
A drink or two might lower your inhibitions, but having too many can take the ability to orgasm off the table. Researchers have found that too much alcohol affects both the brain and penis. Besides making you so sleepy that you don’t even have the energy for sex, heavy drinking can also lead to erectile dysfunction.
Solution: It’s all about moderation. Give yourself a two-drink maximum and your partner will thank you.
3. Popping Pills
Everything from antihistamines to birth control (oh, the irony…) can lower your libido.
Solution: If you suspect your prescriptions could be killing your sex drive, contact your doctor. He or she will likely be able to adjust your meds accordingly, suggests Raymond Hobbs, MD, a senior staff physician in Detroit.
4. You Don’t Think Your Body is a Wonderland
Not wanting to get naked in front of your lover definitely makes sex difficult. Men and women alike struggle with body image, but chances are your spouse thinks you look hot in your birthday suit.
Solution: We all have a favorite asset, so focus on that rather than dwelling on what you want to change, suggests Dr. Stephanie Buehler, a psychologist and sex therapist. Also, hitting the gym not only does wonders for your body, but your self-esteem and sex life as well.
5. All You Want to Do is Catch Some Zs
We’ve all heard the age-old excuse, “I’m too tired.” Well, in many cases, it’s actually true.
“Sleep is essential for your sex drive,” explains Shahnoz Rustamova, MD, a gynecologist in New York City. “Depleted energy means you’re less likely to be in the mood.”
Solution: Make sleep a priority and getting it on will become one too.
6. You’re Not in the Mood
Depression is a double-edged sword: Not only is it a known libido killer, but so are many anti-depressants. These drugs can interfere with sexual function on multiple levels, from hindering with your ability to orgasm to decreasing sex drive, says Shari Lusskin, MD, who specializes in reproductive psychiatry.
Solution: Talk to your physician or psychiatrist to see if other drugs or another type of treatment might have fewer side effects.
7. Love Hurts
Sex should be enjoyable for both parties. Unfortunately, thirty percent of women reported pain the last time they had intercourse, according to the 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. This could be due to anything from lack of foreplay to a genital infection.
Solution: If spending more time warming up and lube don’t do the trick, you should see your gynecologist.
8.Performance Anxiety
No one wants to talk about erectile dysfunction or early ejaculation, but that’s exactly what couples that are struggling with these issues should be doing. The problem may be less about libido and more about performance anxiety, so it’s important to be open and understanding with your partner, according to Psychology Today.
Solution: Don’t be embarrassed about seeking help. Seeing a sex therapist or asking your doctor about Viagra can get help get you back in the sack.
If your libido has lagged for a significant period of time and you are feeling at all concerned, it’s always prudent to consult with your doctor.
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