Saturday, June 22, 2024

Dogs: Jokes, Quotes and Fun Facts!

Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because it didn’t want to be a hot dog!

What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

Why did the dog bring a watch to the park? Because it wanted to have some "paws"itive time.

How do dog catchers get paid? By the pound!

What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? "Ruff, ruff!"

Why did the dog run in circles? Because it was a watchdog and wanted to keep track of everything!

Why did the dog join the orchestra? It wanted to be a bark-ton player.

How does a dog stop a video? It presses the "paws" button.

Why don’t dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

What do you call a dog who loves to take a bath? A shampoo-dle.

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**Fun Fact:** Did you know that the Basenji dog is known as the "barkless dog" because it doesn't bark but makes a yodel-like sound?

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Why did the dog go to school? To become a "bark-ologist."

How do you know if you have a slow dog? It chases parked cars.

What do you call a dog that’s a pirate? A sea-dog.

Why did the dog sit in the snow? It wanted to be a chili dog.

What do you call a dog with a Rolex? A "watchdog."

Why did the dog sit at the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a calculator? A friend you can count on.

How do dogs stay cool in the summer? They fetch water.

Why do dogs always know where their bones are buried? Because they have great “barkaeology” skills!

What do you call a dog that’s been to space? An astro-pup.

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**Quote:** “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” – Orhan Pamuk

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Why did the Dalmatian fail its driving test? It kept making spotty decisions.

What do you call a dog who loves poetry? A bark.

Why don’t dogs use phones? They can’t stop "woofing" it.

What kind of dog loves to take baths? A shampoo-dle.

How do you make a dog smile? You say “cheese and barkers.”

Why did the dog wear glasses? Because it wanted to improve its bark-sight.

Why did the dog go to the bank? To deposit some bones.

What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.

How does a dog ask for a treat? "Can I have a bone to pick?"

Why did the dog fail the magic show? Because it couldn’t master the "collar" trick.

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**Fun Fact:** The Greyhound is the fastest breed of dog and can run up to 45 miles per hour.

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Why did the dog sleep in the sun? To be a hot dog.

What’s a dog’s favorite city? New Yorkie.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a clock? Lots of barking time.

Why are dogs bad at basketball? They can’t dribble.

What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? The trombone.

How does a dog write a letter? With a paw-pen.

What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pup-eroni.

Why did the dog join the circus? To be a “trick-dog.”

How do dogs like their eggs? Pooched.

What do you call a dog with a sunburn? A hot dog.

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**Quote:** “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” – Charles de Gaulle

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Why did the dog go to the vet? To get a new leash on life.

What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes.

Why do dogs never get lost? They always know their "way-back."

How do you entertain a bored dog? Turn on the "tele-bone."

What’s a dog’s favorite movie genre? Pupcorn flicks.

Why did the dog carry a notebook? In case it wanted to jot down some “paws” for thought.

What’s a dog’s favorite type of music? Wag-time jazz.

How does a dog enjoy a novel? It digs into a "bark-umentary."

What do you call a well-read dog? A literate-labrador.

Why did the dog go to the art museum? To see the "pup-casso."

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**Fun Fact:** Dogs have a sense of time. They can predict when their owners will come home based on their internal clocks and routines.

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What’s a dog’s favorite drink? Pup-cino.

Why did the dog go to the bakery? To get a "pup-tart."

How do dogs always stay in shape? They do plenty of "pup-lates."

What’s a dog’s favorite game? Bark-out.

Why did the dog start a blog? It wanted to share its “paw-spective.”

What kind of dog likes to take a nap? A snoozer-doodle.

Why did the dog bring a ladder? It wanted to reach the "woof."

How do dogs travel? By greyhound bus.

Why did the dog go to college? To get a "bark-chelor's" degree.

What’s a dog’s favorite sport? Fetch-ball.

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**Quote:** “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras

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6lWhy do dogs avoid computers? They can’t handle the "barkware."

What do you call a dog that’s a doctor? A "vet-erinarian."

Why did the dog go to the beach? It wanted to catch some waves.

How do dogs write songs? They use "paw-tunes."

Why did the dog join the gym? To work on its “bark-letics.”

What’s a dog’s favorite holiday? Howl-o-ween.

Why did the dog love Shakespeare? It enjoyed all the “bark-plays.”

What do you call a dog who loves mysteries? Sherlock Bones.

Why did the dog become a detective? To solve the “ruff” cases.

What’s a dog’s favorite snack? Bark-jerky.

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**Fun Fact:** Dogs have three eyelids, including one to keep their eyes moist and protected.

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Why did the dog take a nap during the day? It was a pup in training for night watch.

What’s a dog’s favorite kind of story? A tail-wagger.

7How do you call a dog on the phone? By dialing the “bone” number.

Why do dogs love the forest? Lots of sticks to fetch.

What’s a dog’s favorite TV show? The Bark and the Beautiful.

Quotes:

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Roger Caras

"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." — Charles de Gaulle

"Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen." — Orhan Pamuk

"The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants." — Johnny Depp

"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had." — Thom Jones

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." — Josh Billings

"The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog." — M.K. Clinton

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Roger Caras

"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich." — Louis Sabin

"There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog." — Konrad Lorenz

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." — Edward Abbey

"Happiness is a warm puppy." — Charles M. Schulz

"The dog is the perfect portrait subject. He doesn’t pose. He isn’t aware of the camera." — Patrick Demarchelier

"A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won't be too bad." — Robert Wagner

"You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him." — W. Bruce Cameron

"Every dog must have his day." — Jonathan Swift

"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails." — Max Eastman

"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." — Charles de Gaulle

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well." — Bonnie Wilcox

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." — Agnes Sligh Turnbull

"Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach." — Moby

"Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen." — Orhan Pamuk

"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." — Charles de Gaulle

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." — Agnes Sligh Turnbull

"Happiness is a warm puppy." — Charles M. Schulz

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." — Josh Billings

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Roger Caras

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." — 

"The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be." — Konrad Lorenz

"Dogs leave pawprints on our hearts." — Anonymous

"The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog." — M.K. Clinton

These quotes celebrate the joy, loyalty, and profound companionship that dogs bring into our lives.

"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." — Kinky Friedman

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." — Aldous Huxley

"Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more." — Agatha Christie

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." — Ben Williams

"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had." — Thom Jones

"A house is not a home until it has a dog." — Gerald Durrell

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Roger Caras

"Every dog must have his day." — Jonathan Swift

"A house is not a home without a dog." — Gerald Durrell

"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn't ever know we had." — Thom Jones

"The only thing better than having you as my dog is my children having you as their dog." — Anonymous

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." — Josh Billings

"The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it." — Michel Houellebecq

"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." — Kinky Friedman

"When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day." — W. Bruce Cameron

"Dogs are the magicians of the universe." — Clarissa Pinkola Estés